when before I was pregnant with ella I knew one thing for certain about having a baby, I was getting an epidural! I had been told at a very, very young age that child birth was the most excruciating and terribly painful experience anyone could ever go through. again and again over the years this same concept was tapped into my mind. Think about it, every movie or t.v. show or even story of childbirth is the same, agonizing! I was scared to death of having to experience it and so I committed to the epidural. I maintained that the most important part of my labor was getting to the hospital in time so I could get one, and my thinking was that everything after that would just happen. Well, I did have an epidural with Ella and it completely ruined my entire experience. I vowed that day, before she had even been born that next time I wouldn't do that. I hadn't given it much thought until recently, i guess being 14 weeks pregnant means starting to think about the birth a little and lately i have been thinking about it a lot! watching movies, reading books, I just want to be educated. i am learning so much about how natural the process really should be, and how beautiful the experience can be. i have vowed to make my labor with this next baby as natural as possible. i am getting so excited about it. i have dreams about it. thinking of focusing through the pain and letting my body do what it was designed to do, it makes me wish i was going to be giving birth tomorrow! the next few months i just need to get myself psyched up and remove all that fear that has been drilled in my mind.
I have no doubt i can handle this.
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