fall la la la la.

I'm so in holiday mode.

I admit, I have listened to Christmas music on more than one occasion already.

I encourage ella to choose a christmas movie for us to watch.

I am just so eager to start baking and wrapping and getting a tree and decorating!

it makes me so giddy just thinking about it.

I am trying to put the breaks on a bit and make myself enjoy the prelude to Christmas.

Fall crafting has helped.

Ella is really interested in Halloween this year, so that is fun.

I really wanted her to be Madeline, she loves the books & show and I just thought it would be adorable! But, a 2 year old has her own, very determined, say and what kind of parent would I be to force her to do what I want... hehe.

Isn't it crazy that October is nearing it's midpoint already.

And then it will be November, and then our little dude will be here!!!!

this is quite an exciting time of year at our house

=)

see you in 8 weeks, or so.

question of the week: "so, anytime now huh?"

really?! Not quite.

change your actions, change your thoughts.

this morning I was thinking of a lot of things I'd like to change about my mental processes. You know how sometimes your initial reaction to something just makes you say, "why would I think that?!" [or maybe it's just me]

I can be really hard on myself at times for things like that, but this morning I had this epiphany moment. I remembered something I had heard on one of the many radio programs I often listen to [can't recall which]. The message was basically this;

you cannot control your thoughts all the time but you can control your actions. if your impulse is to act a certain way, or say a certain thing and you know it is wrong then simply don't do it. if you do it and later feel bad about it, take a minute to reflect on what your desired action should be. After a while your change in behaviors will result in a change of the way you think.

genius, right!

I'm pretty sure they were referring to gossip, but really you can apply that logic to so many different areas of life. I guess it sorta goes hand in hand with that famous quote, "be the change you wish to see." And, the words from that classic primary song "I will go, I will do" also come to mind.

I know this is such a basic principal in psychology too, but some how it just clicked on a more personal level for me this morning.

I just need to stop letting my imperfections get me down

and strive to be better through my actions, everyday.

this week in my life.

I finally recovered (about 95%) from my wisdom teeth disablement.

dentist suspected an infection, though no way to be sure because without x-rays there isn't much they can really do. I took antibiotics and the difference is amazing! I can actually function again! Only problem now is I've seemed to have lost my incredible motivation, [big sigh].

I was seriously on such a roll and now, blah! I have to give myself pep talks to do every little task.

come back motivation, come back!

where is September by the way? it looks like half of it disappeared already. man oh man.

October is gonna be even busier for us.

i really need to get some halloween/fall decor going; I knew I should have bought that big ol bag of halloween candy at the store ;)

okay, okay. I must get up now and clean, I simply must!

the little things.

making dinner usually sounds a little like this;

"ella, please get out of the kitchen"..."devon, can you please get her out of the kitchen?"

repeat, repeat, repeat until dinner is ready.

last night Devon was helping me chop pizza toppings, because my wisdom teeth are coming in and every task takes me 4 times as long [ugh!]. So, ella could not, or should I say would not, be left out.

No dangerous raw ingredients to keep her out of.

No hot stove top.

No pressing time restrictions.

okay ella, you can help!

She got up on a chair and helped us put all the toppings on the pizzas, and she loved it. She was so happy and proud and I couldn't help but step back and remind myself that it's these little moments [the three of us in the kitchen] that matter the most. These are the visions of little girl day dreams that make you want to grow up and have your own little family.

funny how something so simple can just put everything into perspective so quickly.

summer is melting away.

i love summer time because...

it's warm and beach days can happen at any moment.

it stays lighter longer so we can enjoy the afternoon's together when devon gets home from work.

it always smells like someone is bbqing.

there is usually a festival going on somewhere.

it's usually just sunny and happy.

We've had a really great summer, there are just two little things left on our check list of "things to do this summer"... and those plans are in the works.

but,

I'm getting so excited for the holidays.

just one hundred and six little days left till Christmas!

25 and 26

week 25:

week 26:

the new: I am definitely gaining weight now. I know it's normal and I'm completely in a good range but I doubt I will ever be okay seeing the numbers on the scale go up. Seriously, are there really people who can be totally fine with it??? I know I'm healthy it's always just like, eeek! I probably should stop looking.

It's been a little hot here this past week and so I've been getting a little swollen. I never got swollen with Ella, but I'm thinking that's because by this point in my pregnancy with her it was already cold out. I usually swell in the heat normally. Hopefully it won't last.

the joys: this guy keeps me aware that he is there. I love it! His kicks and jabs always make me smile, and I become so anxious to meet him. Ella always comes up to me and asks if she can say hi to baby brother. She always wants to "open him" ( lift my shirt up) first and then hug him and kiss him and talk to him. She sometimes sees things she wants to show him, or finds things she wants to give him. She will hold toys up to my belly and tell me baby brother wants to play with it. Let's hope she is this loving and caring with him when he arrives!

I feel really lucky that I have an easy time being pregnant. It seems like so many women have nothing but complaints, or they are just so miserable. I feel really good!

the funny: when people find out I'm having a boy they usually say something like "oh good! now you're done!" it always catches me off guard, and I never know how to respond to that. I just end up laughing, why is that so funny to me? who knows.

save for a rainy day.

I have a, somewhat, irrational fear that if everything is going well then something bad is about to happen. I'm working on it. Right now I feel so blessed, purely happy and full of joy. I often limit myself from feeling so great because, like I said, I have that irrational fear.

My new approach:

embrace the good days and grasp them as fully as possible.

write them down and save them for a rainy day.

be happy in times of happiness and focus on the positive, always.

Dear life,

today you are great. Devon and I are on the same page. We love each other unconditionally, and we have the same understanding of what forever means. We both strive to make each other's lives easier, and better. We've come so far. We share beliefs and values and have the same goals for our family. We are a team. Ella is amazing. She is two [and a half] and incredibly smart. You can't pull one over on her, she is too quick to comeback. As Devon puts it, she has an answer for everything. Yes, at times this is what makes her difficult but it's also what makes her so fun. She is so comprehensive and tells the most outrageous stories. She is funny and dramatic, so creative and expressive. She just fills our lives in a way I never imagined. And now, this little man cooking in my belly is such a blessing to us already. The thought of our lives becoming more full seems impossible, but I know he will add so much to our family and I can't wait to see it happen. I'm amazed at where my life is, and all we have. God is good. He knows our needs and wants, he knows what's best for us and will safely lead our paths if we let him. I'm grateful for everyone and everything that fills up our lives.

one little, two little, three little

Projects!

I should have done before and after's of the little spaces in my kitchen I have touched up this week.

I used to have a small calendar, little cork board and weekly white board in this space, now it's a big chalk board... I like it, ella does too!

This used to be a big boring blank white wall. It took me like 5 minutes to transform it into something I love! Who knew some simple twine, clothes pins and Ella's art could add so much!

This was another blank space, but it never bothered me because I just never really noticed it. Adding this cool calendar really completed the space! I don't remember exactly where I found this calendar project but if you want to make your own all you need is a frame and some assorted paint color swatches, then you just use a dry erase marker to change the dates every month... simple!

Viola...I'm loving the new look of my kitchen!

technically I'm 25 weeks tomorrow but...

a 24 week belly photo:
a note for my little man:

You sure like to move, Ella did too. [Guess we shouldn't count on having any mellow children]

Your movements are bigger and stronger than I remember hers being at this stage. It feels like you are tunneling around in my belly. I first felt you about 14ish weeks and daddy got to feel your bumping on father's day. Now we can see you squiggling around in there, it cracks me up how crazy you get. We can't wait to see what shenanigans you and your big sister are gonna get in to!

those are like watermelons.

1. i'm six months pregnant today... time is flying! I feel [mostly] great. I swear my belly wasn't this big last time. Most people say it doesn't look that big, maybe they are being nice, maybe I am delusional, maybe I should take some dang pictures!!! I can't even pretend to know why I haven't yet. It's like the last thing on my mind, until like 2 in the morning. I'm pretty sure devon would be pretty upset if I woke him up in the middle of the night to take a photo of my bellly. Kinda don't even want to try that one.

2. [tmi?] ella has developed a new fascination with my ever growing chest. I must document this for my own memory, which is not so good these days. On one occasion she looked at me and said, with a laugh of course, "those are like watermelons!" Nice!

3. a quote I just saw and liked a lot, "I am a good enough person to forgive you, but not stupid enough to trust you." perfectly said!

4. i want it to be christmas. I keep having these dreams that it's Christmas and I was too busy to experience the season. I'm frantically trying to play all my favorite Christmas songs and watch all my favorite Christmas movies in one day before it's too late... what does that mean?!?!

5. I'm feeling crafty and keep hitting dead ends. I have three projects that I have started only to find that I can't find one important object/material to finish it. grrr!

6. i hate our separate blogs. this whole thing was devon's idea, his insistence, and he never ever blogs! I feel that I am entitled to make the executive decision on this one and go back to the one family - one blog concept...

7. tomorrow we are going to the fair. how do I put the excitement into words? I will definitely indulge in some gluttonous behavior and not feel one bit of guilt about any of it, mark my words!

aaarrrr!

a sunny afternoon filled with pirates. and taffy. we love the harbor!

oh look, you can kinda see our little man poking out from this angle.

random thought: this morning while ella was climbing into our bed half asleep I had the sudden thought, how the heck is she gonna learn to sleep through the baby crying?!?! and just like that the idea of our newest little one's cries brought the biggest smile to my face. seems like a strange thing to get excited about but boy, I can hardly wait to meet this little guy.

a lovely day.

beach.

family.

yummy food.

fireworks.

our 4th of July was pretty perfect.

how was yours?

hey little guy.

guess what tiny baby growing in my belly...you're a boy! I'm sure you already knew this but we just saw the evidence. the nice ultra-sound lady said it's 100%. daddy says I almost jumped off the table, i think he's exaggerating... just a bit. but we are ecstatic!

i have dreamed about you for so long, I just can't wait to meet you, hold you and kiss you.

we love you little guy.

happy june.

a busy month and a broken computer keyboard. not a good combo.
i just need to back track a bit and say happy father's day to all the fantastic daddy's out there.
I am blessed to have so many fathers around me and thankful for the roles they each fulfill in my life. I am glad that the relationship I have with my dad has become what it is today, because not even ten years ago I would have never thought it would be like it is now. I am so lucky to have such an awesome baby daddy. true story, at a recent kids birthday party I had a little boy ask me where devon was, when I told him he was away photographing a wedding the kid got so bummed! yeah, kids love him. he is truly a kid at heart but still manages to buckle down and get responsible when necessary... what more could you want?!?!

now let's get serious for a second. something huge has happened......
i turned the big two-five!
yikesssss!
what you first have to understand is this, 25 is my scary age. it's the age that always sounded SO far in the distance. i guess i kinda just figured that 25 is the age that everyone is referring to when they use the phrase "grown-up" as in, "what do you want to be when you grow-up?" in my mind 25 just meant something, something I can't even explain. and then after dragging my feet and refusing to call myself 25 until the absolute last possible second (11:59 pm on june 24th, to be exact) i finally confronted the fear and realized that really, it's not so bad. I do know what I want in my life. I have accomplished some pretty great things. I may not be a young careless kid anymore but really, is that what I want? I'm pretty stoked on my life at the moment. and like devon always says, I still feel like a kid at heart.

and so, here is to the next chapter of my life...

judy moody.

yep. unfortunately, that's me. or at least me in my current state, pregnant.

I'm totally seeing the scene from knocked up where Ben yells at Allison's hormones. I feel ya!

I was so not like this with ella.

i so don't want to be this emotionally unstable, hot and cold, unpredictable chick.

maybe it won't last very long, fingers crossed!

in other related news tomorrow marks month 4. we're flying!

in other non-related news. my wonderful grandparents are in town. I have got to spend time with them 4 days in a row, and i couldn't ask for more. they are my favorite people ever!

reason #153 i need a house.

i so love this blog! It makes me want to run out and find some junk to fix up. AND it's totally garage sale season so it's like the perfect time to get out there and pick up some fixer uppers. unfortunately, my mister has staked claim on our tiny little work space, boo. his project is definitely worthy, i just wish we had more outside space to work on two many things at once. i would love to find/fix some cool night stands, a really charming something or other for my kitchen and in a perfect world a new kitchen table. someday!

in the meantime I will wait patiently and watch this beautiful wooden surfboard devon is building come together.

zippidi doo daaa...

i'm feeling great! as in I've thoroughly cleaned my entire kitchen and still have plenty of energy left to move on to the rest of the place. AND yesterday I made it through my pilates workout and didn't feel like climbing into bed immediately after.
oh energy, how I've missed you and how happy I am you've returned. i will never take you for granted again!

committing to the natural way.

when before I was pregnant with ella I knew one thing for certain about having a baby, I was getting an epidural! I had been told at a very, very young age that child birth was the most excruciating and terribly painful experience anyone could ever go through. again and again over the years this same concept was tapped into my mind. Think about it, every movie or t.v. show or even story of childbirth is the same, agonizing! I was scared to death of having to experience it and so I committed to the epidural. I maintained that the most important part of my labor was getting to the hospital in time so I could get one, and my thinking was that everything after that would just happen. Well, I did have an epidural with Ella and it completely ruined my entire experience. I vowed that day, before she had even been born that next time I wouldn't do that. I hadn't given it much thought until recently, i guess being 14 weeks pregnant means starting to think about the birth a little and lately i have been thinking about it a lot! watching movies, reading books, I just want to be educated. i am learning so much about how natural the process really should be, and how beautiful the experience can be. i have vowed to make my labor with this next baby as natural as possible. i am getting so excited about it. i have dreams about it. thinking of focusing through the pain and letting my body do what it was designed to do, it makes me wish i was going to be giving birth tomorrow! the next few months i just need to get myself psyched up and remove all that fear that has been drilled in my mind.

I have no doubt i can handle this.

yummm.

devon was out the other night so ella and i had a true girls night, complete with junk food!

macaroni and cheese, totally store bought and totally delicious.

the girl and i love some potato chips. she picked the flavor, it was a successful choice.

and of course, a frozen pizza to complete our completely no-good-for-you meal!

she loves her some pizza.

i love me a little messy haired, messy faced, junk food loving girl!

you know what they say... when daddy's away the girls will play. we are so exciting! hehehe.